Who are we…the Girls Who Went Away, as Ann Fessler so brilliantly called us? We are Everywoman. We are the Cookie Mommies, the PTA President, the Lady next door, your attorney, your physician, your florist, your waitress, your therapist, your friend, or even your aunt, your sister or your mother. We are married, single, divorced, widowed, straight, lesbian, bisexual and asexual. We are girls grown to womanhood, with one commonality that unites us in Sisterhood…the loss of our children to adoption.
We built successful lives, and went on, as we were told. But now that we are older and wiser, we see our losses for what they were, unnecessary and punitive. We also see that an entire industry, developed from our losses, and is determined to continue to reap profits from Surrendering Mothers. We see our lost children now adult, who have grown up with the notion that they were disposable, we didn’t want them or that we, their Mothers, were nothing more than vessels for birthing them for strangers and have no value beyond that for them.
Our fight has several purposes. First, we demand justice for the losses that we so unnecessarily suffered. We were not criminals, we harmed no one, our only “crime” was in loving and giving life. We were judged without trial or legal representation unfit parents for our infants, not for any reason other than marital status. After years of silence, we have discovered our worth as citizens and the enormity of the crimes committed against us. Justice is the least of what we deserve. Our other purpose is that only in exposing the lies upon which the adoption industry is built can we show clearly that the commodification of women and children is dangerous to a society that prides itself on the family as an institution, the very basis of our society. To remain silent is to make a mockery of the very principle upon which our society is based, that the truth shall set you free. A strong home, one that will withstand storms and travail, is only as good as the foundation upon which it is built. A strong society is built upon a sturdy foundation as well, and by exposing the lies, allowing light and truth to expose the rot at the center, hopefully the corruption can be removed, making a stronger and safer society for ourselves and our progeny. Lastly, we cannot reclaim our lost infants. We can grow relationships, but nothing will return the years we lost, the children raised by strangers. We can never reclaim their lost childhood, but we can prove to them, beyond a shadow of a doubt that we were victims of a wrong, and that we wanted and deserved the chance to raise them. We cannot regain our infants, but we can regain the respect to which we were entitled.
Our Civil, Human and Constitutional Rights were trampled and, through us, our children’s. We have seen and are examples of the outcome of this failed social experiment in social eugenics. We realize that a society that allowed these crimes to be perpetrated upon a selective group of young, unprotected and vulnerable women and their infants is only protected from the consequences of their crimes by the silence we were commanded to maintain. When rediscovering our own worth, we realized that we were also worth the effort to seek justice and acknowledgment for these criminal acts.
Our daughters and daughter’s daughters are now vulnerable for the same reasons we were. The adoption industry has grown into a Hydra, hand in hand with the Religion, Politicians and Celebrities who benefit financially and otherwise by the continuation of the unwholesome trade in Human Flesh. Huge amounts of money, in the form of grants, membership dues, funding and the profit from the baby trade allow the veneer of charity, compassion, altruism and generosity to be the public face of an industry that is, in truth, a Skin Trade, little more than Slavery for the avaricious industry and the covetous, desperate women they serve.
Our intention is simply this…to bring attention to the Era of Mass Surrender, when estimates range from 2-6 million women were forced to surrender their infants to feed the maw of the burgeoning industry. By doing this, we are determined to find justice, recognition and peace for our children, other women still silenced and ourselves. Further, we feel that only in exposing the secrets of the past, and the life-long consequences for mother, child and society, can the lies on which adoption is built be shown for what they actually are, a cover for criminality.